I.

I kept asking myself why I needed to stand so rigidly. Why were my ankles keeping each other company and why were my heels fit so firmly to the floor.

Unresisting I felt all of it enter. The universe rang about in the echoes of the shower space. Calling to corners and to the passerby's. Asking the whole entire time the same question, be change? I needed to change. The breath of angels need to change. And so do I.

Because who sees who you truly are? You could ask the members of late night bathroom trips, or friends that belong only in your well-lit kitchen. You could look to past love's, future love's, even those who you can only pretend you got to love. (They always seem to be the most heart-felt ones about it all) You could peer into the carpet bag of magic tricks of your grandfathers, or shake out the dust in your aunt's music books. Scamper about searching for linen skirt of your mom's because it knew her so well, so perhaps it could accommodate you similarly? Continue looking, ask all of your acquaintances and keep checking with your friends. Who sees who you truly are? Can you even see you? There are layers of old coats and marbles on a few, some are dressed up in rag-time tunes. There are a few who can truly see you, who you truly show you. Family is a funny place to start. Greeting with plum hands and heavy scarves. But the path torn with the hopeful awaits hope. Peace peeks behind curtains. Keep a sharp eye out for the words you most need to circle over and over until they remain stalwart and alone on the page. Keep a kind eye out for those souls who beat like yours. Keep a hand out for the breath of angels. Swim in the ocean with the salt and heat all in your head and beneath your feet keep corals colleagues dart and spin away.

 

I stood even straighter, an Alice potion effect took place, I think I grew. My spine pulled towards the ceiling and I could feel the dust settle on the slick floor. And then I stilled, everything stilled, and a lightness expanded in my head. The same when alone in the ocean for the first time. I breathed a fresh new breath and shook off my old bones and stepped into my cadmium towel.